Wanderings – Thanks but no thanks for the interest Donald

The political looney season is upon us. This will intensify once the calendar hits January 20. The election of Donald Trump in November fuels the looney season like nothing that could be imagined.

Some may suggest that I exaggerate here, but consider the utter lunacy that has transpired in the period between the election win in November up to now – and he has not even officially taken office.

Like a petulant toddler, Trump has made wide demands such as Panama returning the Panama Canal to the United States; the annexation of Greenland from Denmark, and the erasure of the Canada/US border making Canada the 51st state. All these tantrums are as well-informed as the incoming president’s understanding of who pays for tariffs.

Panamanian President José Raúl Mulino already dismissed Trump’s call for the canal’s return. Greenland’s Prime Minister, Mute Egede has said the island is not for sale, as has Danish PM Mette Frederiksen. Outgoing Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that there isn’t a “snowball’s chance” that Canada will become the 51st state. Good! I was worried that we’d get screwed over here. Given the size of Canada, we should become the 51st through 60th states at least! Rhode Island is a state and is smaller than PEI – Trump doesn’t have to erase all the borders here. Trump wanting to delete the border just doesn’t make sense here. If Canada no longer exists, who would Americans blame for all the that cold weather – themselves?

These Trump tantrums, or Trumptums if you will, are all subterfuge. It’s really a bait-and-switch scheme. Make loud and wild claims, get everyone upset, then ask or demand something less outrageous. It’s about perspective.

For example, outright asking Panama for cheaper tolls for American ships through the Canal would likely receive a no response. But in comparison to outright annexation of the Canal Zone as the 52nd state (remember Canada is 51st), lowering American tolls is a compromise that could be lived with.

Selling Greenland to the Americans compromises Danish sovereignty; however the US military wants new bases to keep an eye on the Arctic doings of the Russian and Chinese military. Allowing a few bases instead of losing the largest island in the world is not a bad compromise in perspective.

And in Canada’s case, we have large amounts of natural resources from battery material, oil, hydro electric power, and most importantly – water. We could all become American, or send a few water hoses across the border to help drought-striken areas of the US. Maybe an extension cord or two can help plug in cheap hydro from Quebec to the power up New York City. Trump forgets we’re Canadian, and only have to be asked to help out our friends.

Comedian George Carlin famously said (and I paraphrase here for obvious reasons) that it is not just the quiet ones you have to watch, you also have to watch the loudmouths saying they’ll do you harm too. In the case of Trump and his Trumptums, you have to watch not only the loud and looney things he says, but what his minions and hanger-ons say or are up to.

We live in interesting times of uncertainty. Often pundits worry if Canada is noticed by the US, if it draw the attention of their leaders. For the next four years, I think we should do as much as possible to not draw attention from the Petulant One and his Trumptums – while remaining firm on our lines in the sand. Thanks for the interest Donald, but no thanks.

This column was originally published in the January 15, 2025 print edition of the Morrisburg Leader.